The journey has not been easy and I wouldn’t describe myself on it as “happy”. Much of the pain of this long journey has come from knowing it ultimately served no purpose, there was neither grail to be found nor ring to be destroyed. In fact, that pain of purposelessness has been the trail’s great lesson.  My hope is that one reader gleaned some pleasure, perspective or help from my long wandering and wondering.  

Day 114

When last we spoke I was deciding between walking on the side of the highway to be a purist or hitchhiking horizontally to the actual trail.  After some deliberation I resolved to finish the trail and quickly bought 3 cheeseburgers and stuck out my thumb.  Within 3 hitches Papertail and I made it 80 miles east to Rainy Pass.  The first hitch was a very Appalachian looking and thoroughly bearded old man, the second was a couple in the area on vacation, and the third was a Native American tribal lawyer with his dog–all three were very kind, very interested in our journey, and each was on all accounts helpful.  Then, just like that, we were back to the trail!!!

Day 115 [2595-2627]

Today I woke up with a newfound positivity and excitement, I was back on the trail! As I set off, Papertrail told me he was going to try to roadwalk to Steheken around the fire and so we parted ways. That aside I was excited, the last 3 days to the border through the North Cascades National Park were supposedly second to none on trail and absolutely stunning.  But even more poignant than the views were that I would be finishing in solitude, to me this felt right.  

Today would be my last day before the border and it didn’t feel real.  Despite my emotional confusion the trail did anything but meander curiously; today was steep uphill into steep descents, over 7500 ft of ascent with almost 6000 of descent over the 32 miles.  I was simply too tired to spend much time sentimentalizing–a common experience for me these past months.  In fact, despite the stunning views, I had no desire to stop and take them in–I figured they would be better ahead and so I had ought to hurry there.  I guessed there would be trail magic and hikers celebrating at the road ahead, I hoped that the sunset would be magical, and I had this vision of the perfect moment at the end of my journey that would make this hard day so worth it… “I will get all that if I just go fast enough and far enough” I thought to myself. 

The exchange of hurry for future rest, trading time at this view for a better one ahead was one which I had made so regularly on the trail that it had become almost an evening routine.  After all, the best view is usually just right around the bend right??? 

For whatever reason, today I didn’t make that deal.  I stopped on top of a ridge, tired and alone, knowing it may well cost me that magical moment waiting for me a few miles ahead.  I walked off the trail to a ledge, took off my pack, sat down, took out my headphones, even untied my shoes, and chose to have a moment.  In fact I had two moments.  Those two moments were beautiful, I was grateful if not happy, I was content.  It turned out that the clouds only got worse, the night turned cold, and there was no view nor crowd of people–I had missed nothing. 

Laying cold in my tent later that night I was proud of myself for making that moment.  You can often get moments for absolutely free, but every time you choose to have one you will at least anticipate some cost or consequence.  In this case I missed no trailmagic beers, no sunset, and no camaraderie and the only price is my incrementally increased risk of lung cancer—easy trade.  (“moments” sometimes involve moment makers)

After my moment I passed by the previous unofficial monument–I’m almost there!!! As I slept it was super windy and very cold.  I was excited to be indoors in a few days.  

Day 116 [2627-2656]

“By the end of today I will be at the end”

The reality of the moment still hadn’t fully hit me yet, luckily I had another 7k day to keep me busy.  When I woke up it was very cold but I began hiking regardless…in pants! The pants lasted for about an hour then I started sweating once moving uphill.  Mid-morning I climbed up a ledge to get cell service and there were no American towers in range, but I was able to get some Canadian cell service!! I called my Dad to finalize my plans for pickup and then was able to stream some of the Dawgs game. I found their backups to be performing well and then I put away the phone and accepted that I would have no more cell service until I was just a day hiker…

The cascades are absolutely stunning and although it was steep the hiking was beautiful.  The fall has arrived here and what leaves there are to change are in full vibrance.   It rained on me briefly but in mid day it was only water that came down so I was happy.  

As I hiked north I saw several dozen hikers or groups of hikers coming south from the border, every hiker and I exchanged congratulations, high fives, and even a few hugs.  Several that I had passed in weeks previous had hitched ahead while I was still detouring and so I was lucky to see some familiar faces.  I even saw a family of hikers with one kid who had to be under 10–which was crazy.  

As I approached the border there was a 3 mile stretch of blown down trees as the trail tried its hardest to prevent me from finishing—the challenge did give me the satisfaction of a true adventurer.   After trying out various songs or albums to feel cinematic I, embarrassed, put my phone away from temptation into my pack and continued in silence. 

5 miles left, 3 miles, 2 miles, 1 mile.

Then, around a corner I saw it.  Then a few moments later I was there.  There was nobody else there, it was totally silent.  It almost felt fake, it didn’t feel real…in fact it didn’t feel at all.  There was no balloons or confetti, I had brought no fireball shooters, cigars or champagne.  I also had no friends. It was just the monument, the quiet woods, the smell of poorly buried poop, and an exhausted me.  

I had nobody to take my picture so I set up my phone on a timer and took a bunch of myself.  “I gotta get the right picture so I can feel this moment” I must have thought desperately.

Well, I took a lot of pictures.  Standing, sitting, kneeling, climbing, leaning, smoking, naked, with a flag, with a hat, on a video—I felt nothing except for a possible strain in my leg from running to get in frame so quickly.  “I guess this is it” I thought, and then  “Am I a sociopath incapable of emotion” and finally, “stop cosplaying nihilism you dork" to chase the other thoughts away.

Then, overcome with ache and fatigue I laid down and listened to Townes Van Zandt by himself.  That was fitting because I don’t think he seemed to care much about anything either. (Insert cringing at myself for caring so much about not caring)

I thought about walking illegally into Canada but I was too tired, so I cooked my ramen and went to sleep by the monument.  I wasn’t particularly down, but that nothingness felt weightier in the stead of a foolishly anticipated emotional and spiritual payoff.  “You need to be distracted from yourself, for the sake of your psyche I’m glad your isolation is over now”

Regardless, I slept like a baby.  

Day 0 

I’m just a day hiker now, going to his car.

Seeking some moment of significance, I kneeled by the monument and flipped open my pocket bible to read a psalm.  It was a good psalm and that felt better than the rest of my time at the monument. 

Although it was clear enough where I camped, it quickly became very windy and very rainy.  It was my last day so I didn’t even try to keep me or my stuff dry, I just kept moving.  As I kept moving the rain turned into snow.  What a gift that was! Snow just makes everything seem cooler (and feel so).  In this case especially, I wouldn’t even have to deal with the downside of snow, being freezing cold and wet, and so I just felt like a badass.  The snow gave me a sense of completeness; I had come from the oven-like desert bordering Mexico in the spring and was now under snowclouds coming from Canada approaching winter.  The beginning of actual winter weather felt like the trail itself was expelling me and I was glad, and proud, to be so ceremoniously removed.  

As I kept cruising on through the snow I passed many more hikers and gave them my sincerest congratulations and high fives.  The weather did not let up but although I was getting tired, hungry and cold by the afternoon, my spirits were unsinkable.  

With 7 miles to the car I was able to climb and get that same Canadian cell tower and call my mom with the news of my success.  After that I hiked in silence for the last time, trying to soak up my last trail thoughts and say my last trail prayers.  With about 4 miles to go I was spent–after 2670 some miles I was all out of thoughts (just in time).  So I decided to return back to society with some music.  I shuffled across my liked songs, then tried various playlists and scattered albums but none of them felt appropriate.  Finally I landed on a recording of Hymns based off the Poet Priest George Herbert and sung by the Salisbury Cathedral Choir. 

Strange as that may sound to my friends, readers, or other hikers, that was exactly right.  Striding through the snow, confident but not proud, healthy and hungry in each way–this was the way to return, this was the reason to return.  A beautiful choir is truly special, and in many ways what it represent fills the voids which I have wandered and wondered so much about.  To me they represent humanity’s ability to transcend nature and grow towards something higher.  A choir cannot be an individual, rather to participate in a choir each individual’s natural tendency and capability are subsumed into a greater cause. They are a visualization of the very purpose of society.   They remind me that man can do more than avoid evil and destruction, that by struggle and through participation in a higher order he can surpass his fallen nature.  And so it was with the transcendent music of the Church that I finished my time in the wilderness and made my return to society.  

-Mankind, I think, is capable of goodness and beauty–but it’s harder than we think and I don’t think it comes naturally from within ourselves as much as through.  

-We are created as gardeners of creation not trespassers in paradise.

-Just as a gardener returning from vacation might seem like a butcher as he shears his garden, a King returning from absence may seem a tyrant when he saves his falling kingdom.  

-In our time we are somehow both the sapling overcome by briers and the gardener on overlong vacation—our society has neglected us and yet we are also neglecting our society.  We and it are both less than we should be…there is much shearing to be done.  

As I came within the last half mile my Dad had walked out to welcome me with open arms (another biblical image) and within a few hours we were showered and eating pizza. That night and the next my Dad and I shared a few beers, many laughs, and so much food.  It was good.

The next day we drove to Seattle and the day after that I flew home.  And that was it I guess.  

Since then, I have spent a week sleeping and eating and playing with my dog and spending time with family. It has been very good to be back.

My first day home I went to receive Holy Communion at my old high school, I think I may have looked too much like bigfoot and am too well known there to slip in without a commotion, but it was good.  It was very good. I had thought that that should be the end of this journey and I think for now it shall be.  

Although I am done hiking the trail but I don’t think we are done with each other yet.

Until Next Time…

Love,

Treebeard

Day 107 [2298-2310]

As I ventured out into the cold and rain lingering high up in the mountains I knew that I had several hard days ahead.  With this in mind I stopped by the gas station to grab a final snack before I hitched back up, unsure of what this last delicacy would be I was confronted by an undeniable stack of “fresh” corndogs for only $2.50 per.  After purchasing a few (6) and putting them into my rain jacket pocket (for our mutual warmth) I hitched a ride up into those ominous clouds obscuring the mountains.  

I hiked fast even in the rain but didn’t make it very far and I dared not hike past dark in the cold and rain so I set up my tent at a career early of 7:30.  Inside the tent I enjoyed the last 3 corndogs, bundled up, and tried to go to bed.  As I lay there in the beautiful, dark, mysterious, suffocating greenness of Washington I heard a terrifying deeply inhuman sound circling the pasture my tent was around.  This sound was like the effect of some monster or dinosaur in a sci-fi movie and it was getting louder and closer.  I knew it was the bugling of elk who would never hurt or approach me on purpose (but could crush or impale me or my tent by accident), but knowing what the sound was doesn’t make it less spooky to the solo hiker.  

Day 108 [2310-2342]

When I woke up I thought the sound of the elk in the distance was the coolest thing ever, I spent the morning walking up on herds of elk and trying to sneak closer for a view.  I guess no matter how old or large I get, something about the dark will always spook me.  (I wonder if at 80 I will still have to fight not to run up the stairs after turning off basement lights?)

Anyways, after hiking in the morning cold and rain, the sun came out for a half hour and gave me some beautiful blue sky.  However, less than 30 minutes after that blue sky I was hailed on (and not as emperor).  After some time hiking through that wintry mix I heard a lightning strike somewhat close to me on the mountain.  Walking above tree line holding aluminum hiking poles made me a prime target and so I jogged the next half mile to below tree line… 

-I confess there is a part of me that is very confident I would survive a lightning strike (and a smaller but real part that hoped for superpowers) But nonetheless I went down to safety. 

Less than an hour after that it cleared up enough for views of the majestic Mt. Rainier.  Most PCT hikers refuse to call it Rainier and instead call it Tahoma or “Mother Mountain/Mother of Mountains” as the native Americans did.  As you may expect, normally I’m not one for that sort of thing–in this case I am surprisingly sympathetic. Rainier is so spectacular and is so terrifyingly motherly that it deserves that special reverence.  It is a truly powerful mountain.  Out of admiration, I settled on a very cold/wet campsite in view of the mountains in hope of seeing it reflect the rising sun.  

Day 109 [2342-2383]

There was certainly no views of Ranier at sunrise, there was no sunrise—only gloom.  So I left Ranier in hopes of returning in later life with better views.  Today was very gloomy and also cold so I didn’t really stop.  I realized that if I pushed serious miles I could make it to the church service in the tiny town I was passing into next.  I ended up hiking until late in the night which always gives me a bit of an adventurous rush.  

I tried my very hardest to get to service for the Georgia game but the clouds blocked me from good access and I had to rely on text updates from friends.  Luckily, this one time, the Dawgs were able to get by without my vocal support.  

Day 110 [2383-2400]

I cowboy camped in order to pack up faster, at around 4am I woke up inside a thick cloud and was soaked, but its the sort of moisture a tent wouldn’t have helped.  I pushed quickly into Snoqualmie pass and made it ahead of schedule.  Sadly, this was the end of the PCT for me. 

The trail north was closed to fire.  Most hikers were quitting to return later, some were piecing together roads, train tracks and bike paths to alternate border monuments, but none could continue on the trail they had come 2400 miles on.  The weight of this fact hadn’t really hit me until I arrived.

The little church was an approved but unconsecrated joint collaboration between the local Episcopalian and Catholic dioceses.  It was really sweet and they were happy to welcome me despite my hiker stink.  The Chapel was intentionally historic and traditional in its design and decoration—“surely the Catholics were in charge of that part” I thought.  But upon further study I noticed that the design was in fact high Anglican!!!  What a special gift to someone as nerdy as me.  Apparently the chapel had once provided ski passes to clergy who would serve there on occasion and that the chapel had once been dangerously overpacked by hundreds every morning of ski season.  A beautiful history to remember.  

Then I went to the town’s historic hostel, showered, did much needed laundry, and hung out my tent and sleeping bag to dry.  Afterwards I ran into Papertrail from Oregon and went to the brewery for a few hours and had those great conversations of people who have been hiking alone for too long. We covered such varying topics as Nietzsche, the trail, ski culture, and Nebraska to name a few.  He went to Georgia Tech on scholarship and so is both familiar with the southeast and is very sharp.  He was leaving from there tomorrow to go hike the Colorado trail instead of an alternate PCT finish. 

Day 111. (Alt-1)  0-23

I decided on my plan.  I was going to take alternate trails and forest roads west to get to monument 47.  I had 210 miles to the Canadian border, I could almost taste it.  I made plans with my Dad to come and meet me at that finish and I was practically counting down the hours. I was so excited!

Then I lured Papertrail into a final game of ping pong before he hitched to the airport.  Within about 5 minutes I had convinced him to follow me on this unconventional quest.  He, having only a flip phone and a paper map couldn't download a new map but by following me and mine he could finish.  And so we set off !!!

This route was largely untested, certainly unconventional, and things might get ugly—but there was nothing stopping me from getting to Canada, and now with a companion even the sketchiest of road walks or trail finding seemed doable.  

Day 112 (Alt-2) 

Today we made it into Skyomish where we found a very pleasant bar for me to charge my phone and to enjoy a beer and talk to the locals.  The locals took a liking to us and after even getting free rounds of beers we found ourselves having to drag ourselves away to stay on track.  

Although PaperTrail and I had both spent our PCT mostly in solitude we had spent it very differently.  Aside from my two hours of prayer and silence to start my day, I often spent most of my day listening to music, audiobooks, and podcasts.  His Nokia flip phone didn’t have such capabilities.  So while hiking with him I ended up talking for the entire day which was a new hiking style entirely.  I hadn’t talked to anyone for multiple days since Kackie left.   A couple days of continuous conversation will make anyone into a close friend quickly.  

Day 113 (Alt 3)

Today we woke up and kept hiking.  After a dozen or so miles we finally got off the gravel forest service road and onto a real trail—this made more of a difference on our minds and bodies than we expected and was a highlight.  

By evening we were back onto a dirt road and with steep slope on both sides and the occasional speeding truck down the road we couldn't find anywhere safe to camp.  Finally, in desperation I convinced Papertrail to try down a driveway we saw.  Hikers are warned against dangerous/scary mountain men—its rumored they have guns and that sometimes, more terrifyingly, are even found to be Republicans.  I told Papertrail it would be fine as I confidently walked past the aggressive “NO TRESPASSING" sign.  Upon walking in we found that the road was not just hunting land but an off-grid compound of houses and was certainly occupied.  A man stepped out of his house and yelled “I guess you didn’t see the sign but this is PRIVATE property!”, I turned so that he could see the American flag hanging from my pack, exaggerated my Southern Drawl, apologized, and asked if he knew any safe camping spots nearby.  

His demeanor immediately changed and he said I could camp in his yard and then he went inside.  Very shortly after he came outside with several beers to share, offered us his outhouse, and built a large illegal fire.  He told us he usually welcomed such guests with bullets but had a feeling we were good people.  He ended up keeping us up late into the night talking and forcing us beers (although we didn’t put up much fight).  Finally he told us to get into his Polaris and drove us up some trails and over some rocks out across to the edge of the river.  It turns out late night, alcohol induced joyrides are common to rednecks of both Southeast and Northwest.  

He then urged us not to give any details of his location to any hikers or anyone else, gave us his phone number, and went to bed.  

Day 114 (Alt 4)

We woke up disheveled in our friend’s yard and got moving towards Darrington for our resupply.  The last 9 miles of this involved our first true taste of bad road walking.  The shoulders were small, the turns were tight, and the cars were fast.  To make matters worse, I was having some serious digestion so problems from whatever I had eaten the night before.  

Also today we received some monumental news—the PCT reopened north of Rainy pass.

I was now 80 miles West of the PCT, there were no trails connecting me to it, and my dad was flying to Seattle in just a few days.  I could either walk largely on miserable roads to monument 47 and keep my continuous footpath from Mexico to Canada —OR— I could hike the end of the PCT.  I could not do both.  

The keeping of a continuous footpath is a nitpicky choice of only a select few hikers even on years without fire blockages, this year there were few to none….But I had been completely anal about this so far.  When my mom met me, I made her drive from the trailhead parking lot to town alone while I walked the trail beside the highway. I had asked shuttle drivers to drop me off on opposite ends of parking lots, etc.  

I was torn up by the decision and Papertrail refused to make the decision for me—-which is more important? 

-To hike the PCT or to walk from Mexico to Canada…

Regardless of which option I chose, the end was just 4 days away.  Stay tuned for chapter 

18:  The End

Thanks for reading

Love,

Treebeard

Washington is stunningly beautiful, I am in good spirits and good health, although both the trail and I am ready for me to be finished.

Day 100 [2150-2169]

After getting dropped off by my mother I sat at the coffee shop and wrote my last update. Then I began the long ascent from sea level at The Bridge of The Gods back to the mountains at 6000ft, luckily I was well rested and well nourished.

I ended up with a nice campsite near a river.

Day 101 [2169-2201]

Today was more of the same hiking. Not much was worth noting, but I did enjoy some of my only vegetables of the past few months (thanks for the potion mom). Then I shared a campsite and dinner with a girl named Oyster and Croque Missuer the Hawaiian landscaper.

Day 102 [2201-2232]

Today was perhaps my greatest physical feat of the trail. It may have looked like an average length day that was just walking through the rain. But I walked a continuous 3.6 mph pace for 9 hours. This was including bathroom breaks and I ate while I walked, it also included 3 large climbs.

This rush was for the purpose of getting into the 0 stoplight town of Trout Lake. Once I got there I searched out the best (and only) burger in town which was at the “music hall”. I was excited to check out this quaint local music underneath the stunning mount Adams. Upon arriving I realized that some guy named Willie Watson, quickly after I realized that it was Willie Watson of Old Crow Medicine Show.

Being there without friends and too tired to bother making any I just sat there and watched him play. I was totally immersed and lost in the rhythm and sounds of Appalachia. It was so real, so earthy, so genuine and so unlike the Pacific West—I loved it.

Day 103 [2232-2244]

Today I woke up and went to the town’s Presbyterian Church. It was full of very nice people and they were incredibly welcoming and kind. But I must say it was so very much a “Boomer” church. The woman leading the worship stopped the congregation several times to change the lyrics from “Christians” to “God’s Children” in order to be inclusive for her husband who is a Rabbi. There was also the shaman of a local Buddhist temple in the congregation. The preacher was going on a 3 week vacation and his “flock was to be watched” by these three avowedly non Christian leaders. And of course there were very few young people there. During the service there was one extended segment of sharing the microphone to give thanks (which clearly became a bragging contest veneered under false humility) and then a segment of personal prayers (which was exclusively for the minor surgeries and health issues of the aging congregation). I have thoughts on the effect of this very “Boomer” attitude which I have found at every one of the mainline Protestant churches I have stopped at. I should write a separate essay on it but for now I will just say this. 1. The unwillingness to define a thing prevents it from existing concretely: by definition a country without borders cannot be a country, by definition a religion without beliefs is just a club or friend group. 2. Obviously old people have health issues and the Bible does say that priests and congregations should pray over their sick. But the primary healing of the hospital that the church is must be the healing of souls damaged by sin—these wounds cannot be healed by ignoring sin or by prolonging the physical life. The generation of skepticism, of the hippies, of the anti-war movement, and of religious skepticism has failed to tear down those institutions it first called corrupt, it has only weakened them. Neither the government nor the church is less corrupt but the nation is un-pious and unpatriotic. ((But hopefully more on this later, (and of course I love all the boomers in my life, there’s just a reason their churches and institutions are crumbling through their smiles)) After church they (easily) made me eat lots of birthday cake and ice cream. (We sung happy birthday to 2 different members in the service)

ANYWAYS…after church I began climbing up towards Mt. Adams. I spent much of this hike trying to ship a replacement sleeping pad to my next town and didn’t make it very far. Nonetheless I slept beneath Mt. Adams and the sounds of its glaciers dislodging rocks which rolled down its side (both majestic and concerning to sleep to).

Day 104 [2243.6-2274]

Today was so good I wrote a poem while I walked

“I’m must go off to become a great man”

“None of you could understand”

“Any true hero needs trials” I said

And so across the nation, I would tread

There standing a top of the world.

God‘s truth would be to me unfurled

But through the turmoil of self exalting

I grew to tall too hear God’s calling

And so in my trying to become a king

I in my pride put on, that vicious one ring

I grew miserable from search of power

I could no longer smell God’s flowers

And towering there above his mountains

And sleeping there beside his fountains

I found that, though I had grown greater

I had lost touched with my creator

There in my morning and despair

Mercy caught me kneeling there

On my knees could I love the bees

I heard the wind and saw the trees

A lifting of the veil for a spirit in jail

An opening of the mind for the spiritually blind

Then once more I was alone

And new this gift would not again be shown

The spirit did behove: return to a home

So that you may love: know and be known

I could not climb some tower of Babel.

Only kneeling would God to me his plans unravel

By the end of the day I made it to the brink of Goat Rocks Wilderness and it made everything worth it. I’m a real sucker for a view let me tell you—this was one.

Day 105 [2274-2298]

Today I crossed through the lovely Goat Rocks Wilderness. It was cloudy and murky from smoke and fog, but I went slow enough that it cleared up some for me. I FaceTimed my grandmother, and showed her the view.

Then I pushed on down to Packwood to escape the approaching storm.

Day 106 [nothing]

Today I ate 4 meals, 3 pints of ice cream, tracked down the FedEx truck, and slept in my tent.

Then at night I ran into some wildfire fighters and exchanged some stories and jokes at the town’s bar.

Day 107 [2298-?]

Today I plan to head out into the storm, I’m tired of waiting. Even if I wait out this system of rain, Washington doesn’t get less rainy throughout the fall… I need to keep moving north.

After this next 100 mile stretch I will have to begin my “alternate” route to an alternate border finish in order to avoid all of the fire closures. I will have less maps, less towns, less hikers, and less information for this final stretch. Additionally it will also be colder, higher, more remote and more beautiful than any trail yet. It looks like the trail will end with quite the finale….but more on that later.

After too long I am finally writing to you from Cascade Locks, a small town surrounding the bridge between Oregon and Washington.  Two days ago my sweet mother came and met me at tunnel falls and walked the last 6 miles of the state of Oregon with me.  Since then I have left the couch once or twice, eaten 5 meals a day, taken 4 showers and enjoyed 2 baths.  Oregon was not hard, in fact it was very “cruisey”.  However, I'm not one to relax on trail and so I attempted to speedrun the state of Oregon in less than 2 weeks….

The mother-mandated rest was very much needed.

[[as always I have trouble controlling the ordering of the photos and editing on my phone so I apologize]]]

Day 90 [1850-1888]

I woke up and hiked up to a pointy mountain with a glacial stream. Later in the day I met some funky SOBOS and shared an early dinner with them before following their advice on an alternate route that goes by a big lake. On the way to this lake I called my old roommates and they heard the confusing sound of me running, falling, screaming, scratching, fighting, and suffering—I accidentally kicked a wasp nest, tried to escape, and got bit 9 times including somehow inside my shirt and pants?

I made it to this lake as it was getting dark and enjoyed the surprisingly beautiful progression of the sunset with some random car campers. They befriended me and had me to their RV for some food and drinks and the exchanging of stories. Every year they rent that campground for a week and have all their friends come and relax in the mountains—I liked that.

Day 91 [1888-1926.5]

I slept in late after the big day before and then made my way to a lake marina/store for some new food and a hot meal. There I found some funky German dudes, some strange Florida Men, and my friend PaperTrail. The Germans had purchased a lot of beer and made me technically explain the mechanics of the American phenomenon of “shotgunning beers”. Their trick did work and I was duped into having 3 lunch beers by the lake—but it’s hard to really be mad. Then, as the casual lunch beers turned into not leaving the lake beers for my new friends I made my way out after a swim. Feeling behind, I raced 20 miles after 2 pm to make it to beautiful Lake Charlton.

Day 92 [1926.5-1954]

I woke up very early to a beautiful sunrise over Lake Charlton as I had planned and then began my way towards the highway at Elk Lake.

The burn scar was looking/feeling extra spooky today. The smoke from the northern fires over the desolate landscape with the volcanic mountains looming in the distance all worked to give the feeling of MORDOR.

Once at the highway I worked for about an hour trying to get a hitch into Bend. I was beside the lake’s turnout so people had to drive slowly past me and within about 15 feet of me while they rejected me. While this is an effective strategy for guilting people to give you rides, it is also more soul crushing than ever for the 40 or so cars that I could tell had space who awkwardly rejected me. (the only place this road led to was the town I was going to).

Eventually a sweet old couple picked me up and I was so charming that the man offered to drive me 40 minutes back to trail in the morning!

I also thoroughly enjoyed the town of Bend and the funky hostel which let me sleep in a hammock, do laundry, and shower for $15.

Day 93 [1954-1988]

Mike (the man who gave me a ride) came to pick me up and then took me to breakfast too!!!

He told me his life story, about how his father had been a minister, how he left the faith because he “tries to be cynical”, how his first marriage fell apart and how he has found philosophy late in life. I don’t want to make little of this man or his kindness or to over psychoanalyze him, I really really liked him. However, I could tell he was upset that he and his second wife never had kids of their own and that he felt he was missing something. He said as much. He partially raised his second wife’s kids-both in the normal, loving, modern way. One went transgender and became a man, the other fell in love with an African Muslim in New York and now exclusively wears a burka. He says that he reads a lot of stoic philosophers now—that makes sense. He needed something much stronger long before…

I don’t think he is alone in his fate. Poor guy

After crushing some French toast I went back to the trail and got moving again. Today turned into quite the volcanic venture, an igneous exploration. I waked over all sorts of obsidian, passing volcanoes, lava fields, BOWSERs CASTLE (it’s not called that), and more. At the end of the day I ran into 4 girls (1 couple) who had hiked the trail the year before and they also offered me beers and conversations. I really wish more people had chocolate milk or soda or something, but in certain cultures it is very rude to refuse a free beer so I obliged.

Day 94 [1988-2017]

I woke up early in the strange smoky lava landscape and began hiking. Today the trail passed by a seventh day Adventist camp that serves a buffet—I ate 4 plates of biscuits and gravy and didn’t move quickly again today.

Around mid day I passed a girl on the side of the trail who saw my cross and excitedly said “Oh my goodness are you my first fellow Catholic on trail” to which I said “non-Catholics can hypothetically also have pretty things…. But I’m close enough 👍”. Then she said, “wait, can I please hike with you” and I obliged.

She liked Lord of The Rings, poetry, the church, and obviously the outdoors so we had a lot to talk about. We exchanged poetry that we knew to pass the time hiking amongst a myriad of other conversations. At one point she asked if I had ever heard of A River Runs Through It? I laughed at the latest in a long string of common interests and then proudly recited the last 3 pages of the story which I memorized for my high schools speech contest.

She was definitely an A+ trail friend, albeit very slow

At camp we met her friend who runs a Christian kids camp and who’s wife and him were hiking the Oregon section of the PCT. I was so happy to have such friends but I had gone much slower while talking to a short girl who does not have “ent-strides”. I knew I had to meet my Mom in a few days so I decided to eat dinner with them and night hike to catch back up.

As I ate dinner and listened to the two of them talk, the conversation shifted to my favorite topic. The nondenominational, evangelical camp director let slip a comment that revealed his thoughts on salvation. I jumped in to press him and he, to his credit, humbly and honestly admitted he thought at least half of Catholics wouldn’t go to heaven for believing in “works based salvation”. This is not a position that is unfamiliar to me coming from the evangelical south, but rightfully was one that was shocking to this sweet Catholic girl from Oregon.

Claiming both Protestantism and Catholicism as my heritage (Anglican) I was fascinated to mediate between the two devout Christian’s debate. {interestingly all 3 of us quoted the great apologist and Anglican CS Lewis}

Needless to say, I did not have time for night hiking. This was however, spiritual, social and intellectual food for a starving Treebeard and I don’t regret it.

Day 95 [2017-2065]

Me and “boots” the camp director agreed to wake up at 4:30 to push big miles so he could meet his wife that afternoon and I could make up on time. We had a great 8 hours of hiking and deep talking and friendship. We started early and smoothly and cruised 12 miles by 9:15!!

Many PCT hikers attempt a 24 hour challenge where they hike without stopping. Because I am alone and afraid of injury I wasn’t going to attempt one. “How mature I am” I thought.

-Of course, hiking 18 hours straight off a short night of sleep and after long days before and after is definitely worse than 24 hours with rest on both sides. I also picked a very steep, rocky day for my challenge..

Nonetheless I left boots at around 3 to his wife and kept pushing along solo.

After a few miles I found and fought a forest fire, but more on that separately!

Anyways, by 11 pm I had made it 50 miles in one day, carrying a heavy pack, crossing a significant mountain, stopping for a resupply, and fighting a fire. I was very tired, check stats below. Luckily I had some buddies call me on the way home from the bar to entertain me for 2 of the last few miles ❤️ (our lives look very different right now)

Day 96 [2065-2098]

I woke up feeling horrible. I was malnourished and dehydrated and under slept and normal sore.

Today was supposed to be the easiest smoothest stretch of the entire trail. I suppose it must have been because I did it when I was so tired…

Anyways, I still pushed 33 miles the day after 50 miles and 8300 calories burned. Working on building my pain tolerance…

Also, the smoke from the grasshopper fire was probably not helping my cardio. That said, I sure love the old growth forests. Pictures can’t do their mystical feeling justice.

Very Fangorn (which is my real name of course)

Day 97 [2098-2018.8]

Knowing I needed it, I slept in until 8. Then, actually feeling much better, I walked the 2 miles up to the famous Timberline lodge (see the Shining) and enjoyed 2 delicious breakfasts. For the second one I invited a Slovakian hiker named Jan to eat with me. We talked about America, language, and the Soviet Union. After that I went to Ramona falls, caught another glimpse of the very smoky mt. Hood I had just been on, and went to bed knowing I would see my sweet mother tomorrow. I did have to eat my macaroni with a tent stake because I lost my spoon 😢.

Day 98 [218.8-2150]

Fall comes early to the mountains and the leaves are already changing. Perhaps I will have fall in the mountains now, later in Raleigh, and then finally a third time in Austin. I hope so

I woke up at 5, hiked 17.5 to Tunnel falls by noon, met my mom, gave her a hug, walked across the bridge of the gods into Washington, ate early dinner burger, ate late dinner sushi, ate a pack of cookie dough, showered 3 times, and slept in a bed. That’s peak!!!

Day 99

I did literally nothing and it was glorious. Nothing like mom to make you rest. Also, apparently this is the wind surfing Mecca of the US?

Day 100

Today I begin the state of Washington. The bottom 250 miles of trail are completely open and only partially smoky. I will do those quickly. Then the last 250 miles of trail are closed due to wildfires. I am planning alternate routes around the fires.

I will find a way to get to that border, I just hope it doesn’t mean walking by the highway. Right now it looks like national forests will get me the way. I would say pray for rain, but then I would be cold…

I’m about ready to finish, it’s time for society. Nonetheless, I am doing well mentally, spiritually and even physically?

Love

-Treebeard

Hey friends, I hope you're doing well.  Its crazy how quickly a week goes by on trail without weekends, when each day is just a number on the trail or a day of the month time really flies and blends together.  

In this past week I have escaped California, hiked a monster 43 mile day, enjoyed some good Oregon trees, hiked in 105+ heat, and even had 2 interviews.  For a couple days it was really smoky but the wildfires appear to be calming down and things are good in Oregon.  

Day 81 [1602-1631]

I just couldn't get a ride out of Etna and frustratingly ended up being at the coffee/ice-cream shop for longer than I wanted.   This did, however, allow me to write the last blog update.  Once I got hiking I began to see all the smoke on the horizon.  At worst this smog was foreboding and ominous of bad trail ahead, more often it was just spooky—things didn’t feel real.  

I moved slowly and didn’t make it to my camp until dark. Once there I enjoyed the food from my awesome/ridiculous care package and  bathed in the lake naked—hoping the many hikers around the lake didn’t  shine their headlamps towards me (it was very cold)…. 

Once again the deer are fearless and crazy.

Day 82 [1631-1663]

This day had the most absurd Topo map of any day on trail, it was all downhill, then a valley, then all uphill(see below).  When I made it down the hill it was around 5:00 pm and I saw a thermometer in the shade under a tree…it said 105!!  I ran into a man hiking in a dress and gave him some medicine and snacks. Then I went to the Seiad valley post office to pick up some new food and get a snack.  All they had of ice cream was half gallons so I ate/drank one entire.  

I was overjoyed to find a resupply package from my sister Kackie, some very long letters from my grandmother and her friends, and a box from my friend Charlie.  I think these care packages on trail surpass any Christmas/birthday presents I have ever received.  

Then with a stomach full of ice cream I climbed several thousand feet uphill, got hissed at by a huge rattle snake, and went to bed in the dark after a long day.  

Day 83 [1663-1693.5]

Today was the day I was to conquer California!  I slept in late after my long night of hiking and was leapfrogged by hikers I had passed in the dark.  At the top of the mountain I got cell service and realized that I needed to get to a town by Wednesday for an interview—this gave me something to do and think about and was exceedingly motivating.  

I ended up finding a group of (more normal than average) hikers to cross the border with and we celebrated the accomplishment.  As we were celebrating someone coming south told us there was trail magic a half mile ahead.  At this our celebration ended and we bolted ahead as fast as we could.  Arriving out of breath at a dirt road several minutes later we saw at least a dozen hikers around an old man “Sam”’s truck where he was giving out fresh fruit, fireball, and a cooler of beer to celebrate.  

It was a party, and because it was a good party I (to my huge surprise) met another recent UGA graduate who was hiking the trail.  He had started at mile 300 right after graduation and joined his group there.  They were way slower than me so I knew we wouldn’t stay together, but it was really awesome to share some beers with someone who felt familiar.  We have made plans to rendezvous in Washington to watch the first game.  Their group also had a sorority girl gone granola from Alabama (still very ditzy and very blonde).  She let me borrow her charger (totally into me?).  

—This was my favorite night on trail for all of the reasons

Day 84 [1693.5-17201]

Today I had to fly past my newfound friends to get to town early so I could shop, shower, do laundry and prepare for my interview.  The terrain was exactly the same but my attitude was better because “Everything’s better in Oregon”.  Foolish as the mantra may be, it works.  

While I hiked today I saw a girl who had been part of the big group from the night before and eventually started talking while we were both filtering water at a stream.  She very tentatively asked 

“So are you like, pretty religious” to which I answered

“I’m trying to be” —and then turned to show the cross hanging from my pack. 

Then she asked 

“Are you…. A..uh… Catholic?” 

to which I answered

“kinda both, well no, for the sake of conversation I might as well be. So you are or were?”

-Then she revealed that she herself was a Catholic and that she gets a hard time from her tramily for it.  I have had a few encounters on the trail where people have quietly “come out” as a straight, conservative, patriotic or Christian to me.  

There are normal people on the trail, hiding in the shadows of a performatively “woke” granola culture.  They don’t carry a cross, a flag, or reminisce about the south so they don’t give themselves away so freely or openly as I do.  This isn't to criticize blending in or finding common ground.  I myself often talk about my love for psychedelic rock, my hate for Trump or Bibi, or the failings of capitalism—but even still people have a pretty set opinion of me at first glance.  

Day 85 [1721-1733]

Today I woke up, had my interview, went to lunch, ate 4 cheeseburgers, got back on trail, and began hiking.  After just a few miles I realized that I needed a replacement pair of shoes, then I realized that I was several hundred miles from the next shoe store.  I called 11 shoe stores in Oregon and NONE OF THEM HAD SIZE 15s.  Then I spent hours on the phone with shoe companies and then eventually Zappos to try to quickly ship me a pair.  That was exhausting and I ended up going 10 miles less than I hoped.  I still don’t have shoes and am just hoping UPS doesn’t fail me.

The sunset was stunning, but I was alone so it really wasn’t that special.  There was also a meteor shower, that was more special.  

Day 86 [1733-1775]

Today I began to see southbounders on the trail carrying news from the north and beards just a month or two old.  Also today I checked my email and saw that I had been asked to do another interview—the problem is that I was going to be out of service the next week and was still 43 miles from the nearest road to hitchike. Brazenly, I accepted the challenge and began my great quest.  

I was flying all day, my pace near 4mph at times. I made it 43 miles as it was getting too dark to hike and slept by the road to hitch in the morning.  

During this push I made it to the ⅔ done mark.  This felt really big and made me happy

Day 87 [1775-1788]

I woke up and quickly got a hitch to a trailer park with a restaurant and wifi.  I took a quick shower, ate 3 breakfasts, and then had my call.  Success! (See my desk below)

I got back on trail that afternoon but I was so exhausted I was really dragging.  

I have begun setting up my tent again because the woods are spooky in Oregon and rain is now a possibility.

Day 88 [1788-1822]

Today I cruised 34 miles to Mazama village at crater lake and met up with a guy named Paper Trail, who is hiking the trail with only a Nokia flip phone and a paper map (so badass).  He hikes fast, went to Georgia tech and likes country music so we get along pretty well.  I ended up having beers and talking late into the night (for hikers) like 10 pm!!

  He has been working in Investment Banking in New York since college (with the exception of the AT) and is an interesting combination of hyper hard working/competent and also calm, hiker naturalist.  Talking to someone leaving corporate high society is much more interesting than someone who would/could never try it.  We talked about everything from Hank Williams, to banking, to his loathing of dating apps, to college football, to his past romance.  

He informs me that “I’m scaring the hoes” on trail by carrying a cross and an American flag. 

This made me laugh.  It’s not a phenomenon that's completely unique to the trail….

What is the power of mountains? What is the purpose? What is mine?

Why the heck am I doing this?

-I’m not quite sure 

Love,

Treebeard

This might be the biggest post yet but I promise it won’t be the longest. As I’m getting into my grove I just feel too busy to post more than once a week. 

This chapter has lots of gay people, some mentally retarded deer, and I went to the hospital. Always it was hard, often it was miserable, but sometimes it was beautiful and so I’d say in the end it was good. 

(Fair warning my substack is glitching a lot and I didn’t do a great job editing. Sorry 😬) ((just looks the pictures))

Day 71 [1375-1395]

Today I took too long to leave camp. I spent the morning writing the last blog post (I know they don’t seem like they take much time but they do). While I did this I ate several microwaveable burritos and a cup of ice cream from the store. 🤤 

Then I walked the 4 miles to the other half of the town of Old Station where I hit the gas station and headed to the famous “subway lava tubes”. Inside I had a beer with a hiker named “Monk” who is a grandfather working on his triple crown and is also from Georgia. The tubes were probably 40° colder than the outside air (so like 50°) and went on for several hundred yards. 

Then after the tubes I pushed for another 16 miles or so with the water I had gotten in town. (Yes water carries are back). The sunset was gorgeous and I got to camp late into the night.  I then had to hike a few miles in the dark to make it to a cattle trough repurposed for PCT water and sleep with the sound of cows. 

Day 72 [1395-1426]

Today I woke up early, stopped at Burney Falls guest ranch for lunch after about 15 miles, and then pushed to burney falls. 

Burney falls is unbelievable…

The tourists were surprised when they saw me dive in, the sensation may have turned to judgement when I started washing my clothes in the water. I don’t care, it was awesome!

At burney falls I met a guy my age from Georgia who is also a Star Wars nerd and likes cigarettes. Needless to say we quickly became friends over a smoke as I dried off from my swimming. 

Then I walked a little further and slept by a bridge. 

Day 73 [1426-1454.5]

I have reached the “bubble” and there are so many hikers. I passed 3 different “tramilys” of more than 5 people.  There were several idiots my age and it was really great to laugh with fellow idiots. By the end of the day I ended up near another tramily and they invited me to cook dinner with them. One of them recognized me from the sierras and asked about my badass sister (shoutout Kackie). They were totally missing the view of Shasta so I dragged them 20 yards over to watch it. Sublime. 

Day 74 [1454-1483.4]

I woke up to a 10 point Buck licking my urine up (they like the salt) from about 5 feet away. I talk to him, gently toss pebbles at him, and eventually throw a rock at him and he snorts and looks around confusedly. Finally when I scared him well enough he jumps over a tree and into a thicket of bushes where I hear him get stuck by his antlers and twist around to get out—-idiot. I guess I might say “

The sunrise was even better…

I ended up hiking with this group of 4 for the day. Two of them are gay women (but engaged to men), one guy is a software engineer from Seattle, and the last is a 45 year old hippie/trail runner currently living Atlanta. 

I had hour+ long talks with each of them throughout the day ranging from very casual to surprisingly complex. Inevitably the queer ones asked me about my thoughts on gay people because of the cross on my pack—I articulated the orthodox Christian doctrine of sex, procreation and marriage and they didn’t seem too upset. 

At night the leader of the group got actually mad about people who don’t wear sunscreen and furious at the idea of people smoking cigarettes (although indifferent to marijuana smoking). When I asked her about candles and campfires she readily admitted they should be done away with too for our own health and the environment. 

—To this I couldn’t help but think “what is the point of living if camp fires and sunlight are to be avoided?”

As a Christian I think campfires and candles are some of the best things in this life. I would suspect that if they actually do take anything from me that it is far less than they give. 

-Furthermore, to extrapolate this vision the “good life” becomes what, sitting inside away from danger eating edibles?  No, I think there are and must be plenty of things worth “trading some health for”. 

Day 75 [1483-1502]

Today I hustled 19 miles to a very strange Buddhist hostel in the town of Mt. Shasta that let me shower, do laundry and sleep on a futon for very cheap. 

After eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and a tray of cookie dough I ubered to the movie theatre and watched the Odyssey. I would love to write a review but I am too heavily influenced by the genius vision of Jonothan Pageau to have a truly original opinion. 

That night, I went to the music festival in the park. I was very tired, very sore, and very stiff. 

-A singular beer and some barefoot dancing with strangers did more to heal me than I could ever have imagined. 

I don’t really like dancing, but man do I love it when I do. 

They say Mt. Shasta is the holy mountain of the UNITED STATES. At least the Dali lama says so. I don’t know if this is true but it sure is beautiful to look at close after approaching for so many days. 

Day 76 [1502-1518.5]

After waking up in strange zen land I went to a lunch spot and wrote some letters before getting a ride back to trail. 

It was a pretty brutal 4000 ft climb to start out but I had a full stomach so I can’t complain. 

I bought some bratwursts at the grocery store to cook for my dinner that night and got to have my favorite trail meal to start off!  

Then I had a top 3 camp site of trail so far. The trail seems to reward hard climbs. 

I did feel empty watching this sunset alone and tried FaceTiming someone else to share it with. ⅛ 😢

—I’ve enjoyed far worse sunsets far more with better company. I think that’s worth remembering…

Day 77 [1518.5-1551.1]

By today, what had been a nagging itchy rash had turned into sickness. I had hardly even noted the rash before but tonight I couldn’t sleep I was so itchy. I tried to wash off in a stream but it didn’t help. I won’t go into detail to keep this PG, but the rash was spreading in dangerous/devastating ways and I was getting worried about continuing on the trial. 

All this said, I met a cool group of dudes to camp with and watch another great sunset. Sitting there watching that sunset I knew it was all worth it (the next 10 sleepless, itching hours I learned I was wrong). 

Day 78 [1551-1562]

I woke up exhausted but by the time the sun came up I was ready to go and sick of scratching myself raw without sleep. I had planned out my way to get to a hospital from the next town, it was 50 miles to the next town and I could get a bus from there. I would hike through the night and be there by the next days morning…

10 miles into the day we crossed a forest road where a former PCT hiker “Sea Gypsie” was giving out Gatorades. I realized he was driving out an hour (hero) to go get more gatorades to give away and that the nearest Walmart was the town I planned on bussing to. 

Sea Gypsie used the proceeds from the sail of his computer company in the 80s and has lived in a sailboat around the world with the exception of some time hiking. 

In the hour car ride we had the best trail conversation I have had yet. We talked about the responsibility to participate in society even if we think ourselves “mavericks”. That’s why he does trail magic. 

I probably won’t spend my 30-70s on a sailboat trying to woo new women into sailing the world with me— but despite my first impressions I found a certain wisdom with this strange old man. 

Then I got dropped off at the hospital. In the hospital I assured the nurse at the desk that I wasn’t homeless but actually a hiker—they said they would treat me the same either way. That was very humbling. (I’ve been spending hours thinking through why I really get offended when people think I’m homeless). The good treatment of strangers who seem homeless is part of all ancient religions including Christianity—I’ve been thinking about this too. 

In the waiting room I met an autistic boy “Kevin” waiting on his grandma and talked to him for a while and watched his YouTube chanel. I explained to him the concept of fireflies which he wouldn’t believe. I get along disturbingly seamlessly with the autistic… (it’s as if we speak the same language sometimes)

The doctor fixed me and gave me tons of drug prescriptions. Then I got a big dinner and quickly fell into a deep and much deserved sleep while I soaked my old infected clothes in the bathtub. 

Day 79 (1562-1582]

I woke up from my slumber and got a huge breakfast at the same restaurant as the night before. 

Then I took the bus back to Etna (the town I was going to hike to). From Etna I waited on the side of the road for an hour before getting a hitch from a hillbilly with his cousin/niece/daughter. They were great folks and offered me some beers as they drove up the mountain and told me stories about how the black bears in those parts had the taste of human. (Lots of stories about bear poop with blonde human hair inside)

Then I was back on trail!

I hiked with “Helium” for a few hours. Guess what-she’s gay too. And a nurse from Philly. She wanted to unpack why I didn’t like people thinking I was homeless, which was both interesting and helpful. 

She stopped early and I pushed on another 2 miles to a sunset view (hopefully away from the blonde eating bears). As I laid there an old couple (Kevin and Kristine) drove up on e-bikes from their campground with a blanket to watch the stars come out. So they laid near me and I asked them questions about the show I had been watching each night the past three months. 

Day 80 [1582-1602]

I woke up and hiked to Etna. The distillery there has the best food on trail. For lunch I had a burger with bacon jam and a pizza. Then I went and did laundry to cleanse my infected sleeping bag and gear from the pre-hospital era. There was great comradery in the laundromat. Then I went back to the distillery for another pizza. 

I also got a care package from some buddies from college. Shout out Drew, Henry and Mac. This is the greatest gift maybe ever!

I thought you guys would like to see my Garmin stats from lately too.

Sorry for the poor editing, I’m so sick of typing on my phone and the mobile substack app is glitchy right now.

We’re only a few days left in California, I’m excited to leave.

Love

-Treebeard

The trail has not been as pretty, it has been hot, dry, dusty, and absolutely overrun by thorn bushes. 

—But as they say in little league football…. “No pain, no gain”

Day 63 [1154.5-1170.5]

When last we spoke I had set off from Donner Ski Ranch with a makeshift knee sleeve and dreams of making good mileage before sunset.  My magic sock worked for my knee, and I made it 16 miles for a beautiful sunset—both dreams realized 🥰.  

Day 64 [1170.5-1204.1]

There was a cost to this beautiful site…neighbors.  There was a family of mice beneath the rock beside me and I had to periodically wack them away with my trekking pole throughout the night.  This kept me up late and so I overslept the next morning.

In the evening I still had to hike further, and farther than I expected. This meant I had to hike 2 hours or so in the dark.  In the fading light of dusk I passed within inches of 3 different rattlesnakes on a ridge.  Naturally, in getting hissed at, I tend to jump back in fear—in this case with thousand foot ravine behind me, my natural reaction was more dangerous than even the snakes. By the end I was the one who was rattled (snake pun but I was actually shaken).

Then after getting past the cliff face, the trail entered deep into the dark of the woods.  At this point my nerves were completely shot, and so when a deer and I startled each other, I stumbled in fright and fell to the ground yelling in terror.  At this point I thought I was losing it.

When I finally arrived at the stream, I fell in the mud… by the end of this day I was more angry/depressed/scared/tired/lonely than ever.  —Brutal

Day 65 [1204-1236.8]

Of my actions today I cannot remember a lot, I recall of the trail being long, slow and so hot, now instead of my actions I’ll give you my thought.

Externalizing negativity is extremely powerful-fight against an enemy and not yourself.  Instead of thinking about temptations and weakness as yourself, think of them as demons dragging you down.  This solidifies a real you as the one who fights against the evil and the weakness.  ie: I might think Treebeard is the one who will not quit, HE is fighting against the rattlesnakes, demons, and fatigue which are dragging him down.  

Saying the St. Michael prayer works for a reason, our conception requires an enemy.  Treating sin and weakness as a diabolical enemy rather than an internal feature works better than introspective “therapeutic” action in many cases.  This is why Religious Conversion is the only proven thing that can end addiction (if you don’t believe me then read the 12 steps in AA).  

You may get where this is going—on days like this the trail stops being a hard thing I do and starts being a war I am waging.  Fighting yourself is…self-destructive

(And look at the mossy trees)

Day 66 [1236.8-1267]

Last night I continually heard a grunting and footsteps heavy enough to break big sticks…steps big enough only for a bear or a person. Either would be terrifying. So every 20 minutes or so I would get up and yell at the shadow and throw rocks at it until I heard it run away. At one point it got close enough for me to see it, but my aim was true and I nailed it with a big enough rock that it didn’t return.

Today was another long day as I made my way towards Buck’s lake.  When I finally made it there it seemed like things were closing and I might not even be able to get food or a place to stay.  As I was walking a man pulled over and tells me to get in the trunk of his car and said he would take me to his lakehouse.  

-Without questioning I obeyed

He had been out fishing with his two young sons on the lake and told me that he loved to help hikers to show his boys how to be kind (inspiring).  When we get to his house his wife says he can’t do any more driving that day and so I get to spend the night!!!

I used some of their boat soap and bathed in the lake and swam off their dock, then they gave me leftover meatballs, tacos, and cookies!!  

I talked to the kids about sports and school and wakeboarding and quickly won them over.  The dad fed me beers (and offered much more than that) and then we all sat around the campfire.  I told the kids exaggerated stories from the trail and we sat there for hours.  I told them I was a 6x state champion s’mores roaster and then demonstrated this ability to earn my lodging, much to the delight of the kids.  

After the kids went to bed the dad kept me out by the fire to drink with me until early in the morning.  It was so crazy to me that I was completely the peer of this adult and not of his kids. It was also crazy that some men can be such great dads and such seeming degenerates—this gives me hope for many of my college peers.  

Day 67 [1267-1288.5]

I woke up in the boathouse where they had let me set up my sleeping bag (I may be treated like family and I may be pen pals with the kids now but I am still  filthy hikertrash 😢

I made it to Belden by nightfall, which is an old Gold-rush town turned trailer park (there are lots around here).  Here I was able to do laundry and get a beer which was nice.  

Day 68 [1288-1313.4]

Today had a 14 mile stretch of straight uphill, it was also the worst maintained trail I have ever been on.  Because of the fire, there were sometimes upwards of a hundred downed trees to cross per mile.  Furthermore, the paths were completely overgrown by sharp thorn bushes.  This had the triple effect of

1.  Causing you to scrape all the skin off your shins. 

2. Casing you to lose the trail and have to wander to find it.

3. Blocking your view of your feet causing you to stub your toes on rocks constantly

-This was a new height of misery…

Then I met “Loudmouth” who is hiking the entire trail without saying a word, and who carries a notebook to communicate.  

I met and hiked with a funny lesbian couple.  And then I camped with a husband and wife who rotate slack packing each other up the trail each year—and they gave me extra food in exchange for one of my bratwursts.  The husband is a retired entrepreneur from Minnesota, the wife is a German who loves Bojangles.  We talked about what makes a redneck, and why they thought the big cities screw them over.

Then as I was going to bed, the wife offered me a blankee to sleep with for the night, which I won’t even lie…was a great gift.  

No matter how bad the days are, a good sunset fixes everything…

Day 69 [1313-1346]

Today I crossed the halfway point, and it felt like a let down. “I can’t believe I’m only halfway there…”

But as I was sitting there a butterfly landed on my hand, perhaps that’s a good omen?

I ended today by approaching Lassen Volcanic National park.  I took a bath in the river while I cooked dinner and then hiked until it got too spooky dark.  There was a howling/baying sound in the distance and I was swarmed by moths.  

Day 70 [1346-1375]

I woke up early to hike to the geysers.  I spent too long trying to come up with a “Are you gay sir?” “yes I’m a guy, sure” Geyser joke.  As you can see I am bored and yet still unsuccessful comedically.  

After passing the geysers I stopped at Drakesbad Guest ranch where I paid to have all you can eat breakfast.  I had 4 plates, the food was mediocre, but quantity has a quality of its own as they say.  

I powered on through the night until I made it to the campground at Old Station where I was allowed to have a free shower (but no towel or soap).  [[Like a hobo, paper towels and hand soap did the trick]]

I ate dinner with my friend Jared the 45 year old engineer from San Diego and we talked for a record high 10 minutes (he’s quiet).  

I am very tired and these kids keep yelling as they ride around on their bikes, but they're actually making me happy and I don’t mind.  

Day 71 [1375

I am writing to you from a picnic table at the old station campground while I wait for the post office to open.  I hope to get in at least 24 miles by tonight.  

Thanks for reading

-Your very tired ent Treebeard

…but he wasn’t wrong.  

One of the saddest parts of getting older is finding out that most men don’t love their job, don’t love themselves, and love their wives rarely or barely. 

As kids we wanted to be knights, astronauts or athletes—how stupid we must have been.

Upon learning the reality of bills and statistics, we realize that true and actual greatness is unlikely for us at best.  Most of us accept this fact in highschool—the college internships become careers and the college hookups become girlfriends then wives. We realize that our parents weren’t so grown up after all and we pass through our mostly good, though accidental, lives like many before us—fine, thanks to good buddies and great weekends.  

But there are some who live differently…they “rebel against society” they “take their own path” they “choose adventure unlike all the sheep of society”. We live abroad, work on a fishing boats, become ski bums, and we hike the PCT. We know that “that life will still be waiting for us” if we ever want to go back.  We think ourselves the free thinkers, the unchained spirits.  

Explore the world, see everything, taste everything.  Maybe slow down when you’re older because thats what old people do.  This is what we tell ourselves as we look down upon “society”.

I mean for my case, trying to make life decisions based on my Christian faith—how can I make the argument that thru hiking is less Christian than Real Estate in Atlanta??

I wake up and praise God for creation while reading my Bible, then I walk with my cross and pray in silence for an hour, I memorize Christian poems and prayers.  Throughout the day I praise God. When I see people, I am nicer than I have ever acted in society.  I am not tempted by lust or greed or any of my other usual vices.  I am in the best shape of my life and I am the most sober (literally and mentally) I have been in years. 

If the Christian life is simply to love God and stop sinning then for the sake of my soul I should never stop hiking!

And for that matter, I was also more thoughtful and pious on my trip to Spain than in college. So I would be better off traveling. Furthermore, I am best off at our farm. 

“Society is the source of my problems and the solution is for me to stay away from it.”

Convinced yet???

Well, in my heart I know this cannot be so. The stories of Abraham, Moses, and Jonah hold timeless.

-Abraham was called into the wilderness for the purpose that he might become the man who founds society itself. 

-Moses is called up onto the mountain to hear the Lord and return to society and then save it.  

-Jonah rebels and flees to the wilderness to avoid the wickedness of society, and yet the Lord calls him back for his purpose in and for society.

I might be the least evil Henry in the woods but I will not be the most good. It might be good for me to stay out here, but my life is not for me. My life is not my own. 

The call of society to the Christian man should not be the promise of safety but of danger, not of ease but of struggle, of sacrifice and not of benifit.  

Fighting evil, saving the world, spreading the faith—these cannot be accomplished by any man in isolation regardless of the sunset from his campsite. 

I will never not love the thrill of a dangerous rock scramble. But starting a family too young, giving too much to my community, creating too ambitious a company—these are the dangerous adventures I know I must seek. 

And to most truly dwell in the presence of God is not something which is done standing alone on a mountaintop but kneeling in a church (although that’s another essay!)

((Hang with me for this closing))

Samwise Gamgee (the true hero of The Lord of The Rings) kills the spider spawn of primordial darkness itself, withstands ultimate demonic temptation, walks across an entire continent, and ultimately saves the world. And yet, his most important battle is a small skirmish in his hometown, and his greatest accomplishment is the replanting of trees, the grown height of which he will never see. This is no accident by Tolkien. Neither is it an accident that the book ends with his reward for all this. Sam returns home to his family and “he was expected”. Sam, to whom the entire world owes infinite debt wants no travel, luxury or wealth for to him there is no greater gift than to enjoy the peace and love of the community and family he created.

And so as I and many others “adventure” we must remember that these adventures out into the world are only preparation for the real adventure. The fighting and working done in and for the shire are the continuation of the struggle on mount doom, they may even have been the purpose of it. 

I must live in such a way that this journey is short and these mountains small by comparison.

-the notes in italics are (some of) my thoughts from each day.  

-Note the second person “you” is addressed to me, I am not lecturing my readers.

Day 57 [1018-1033.2]

I woke up in the bushes at Kennedy Meadows North, where I had “stealth camped” the night before, covered in dew from the adjacent stream. I spent the morning drying out my gear (and brain) from the dew and conversations of the night before. Then I got a hitch with a nice “Dave” who wears driving gloves and a cap, back to the trailhead. 

I made it 15 miles through some absolutely stunning wildflowers and had a beautiful campsite. 

Sometimes the sun will start to set before you reach camp and you will have to decide whether to stop and watch it or race ahead to catch the end of it. You will be satisfied with neither…or both—if you decide to

Day 58 [1033.2-1062.1]

Today was a long and pretty day. In the afternoon the trail crossed a highway where a group of newly retired dads were doing “trail magic”. They had beer, hotdogs, and PB&Js. Life was a dream…

-I ate 9 hot dogs and hiked slightly slowly afterwards. 

At the end of the day I got cell service and was able to have a 2 hour long talk with one of my oldest and closest friends. —It was a highlight of this entire hike. Friendship is truly everything. 

Satan means “scatterer” and Devil means “divider”. Sauron in the Lord of The Rings works and profits from the division of the Dwarves, Elves and Men who each are fighting against the forces of Mordor alone. I cannot help but think about the divided host of Christendom who, equaling the elf and dwarf kindreds, likewise have a long and painful history rightfully justifying their division. 

Carpentry is certainly a morally good profession, it was the profession of Christ. And yet he was killed with a wooden creation. 

Day 59 (1062-1091)

I woke up to a doe (a deer, a female deer) sniffing around my camp, that felt really cool. 

With the same service from the night before, I woke up to a call from 2 college roommates. What a gift!

Then I pushed the long day into South Lake Tahoe. Tired and dehydrated, I made it to my hostel in time to shower and hobble over to the beach to watch a beautiful sunset. 

The sunset was beautiful, but the people were better. Kids were playing and splashing in the water, old people were sitting in beach chairs, a group of friends on vacation were enjoying themselves at the bar, and at least 3 young couples were making out in the sand.  

There truly is something about a sunset which brings people so visibly and emotionally together. 

This romanticized visualization of society brought me so much joy, but also a coldness—because unlike everyone else on the beach I was very much alone. And although I have seen dozens of magnificent sunsets on the trail, I would have by far preferred the sunset in company which they were having. 

(See meme below as proof I know I sound dramatic)

Anyways…

Day 60 [1091-1096]

I woke up at the hostel feeling sore and went back to that same nearby beach bar. I sat down to watch and maybe write, and not wanting their mediocre expensive food I just ordered a beer. 

Today was Saturday and even in the morning the small beach was already filling with tents and games and people playing and drinking. 

Maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t spoken to a normally shaven/showered woman in 2 months but my waitress was unbelievably attractive. I talked to her about the town and asked for another lunch spot and she asked me about the trail. 

-“I’m glad we hit it off, maybe this trail beard isn’t so scary” I thought

/-Then I retorted: “it’s literally her job to talk to you moron”

—anyways, when I left my check had written on it “have a blessed day” so maybe I’ve still got it?

~it’s absurd how easy it is to lift my spirits sky high

I discovered an all you can eat Mexican Hibachi where you choose the meats and seasonings and they grill them for you. Upon revealing my Spanish skills the chefs became my friends. I had 4 rounds of food.

Then, stuffed, I went to a nice park overlooking the lake, then I went to a Saturday evening church service (the Indian Priest was not great, but he offered confession to me which I declined as a non Roman catholic)

Then someone from the church gave me a ride 25 minutes back to trail and I didn’t even have to hitch!

I only had 4 miles to go and so it was fine that I didn’t start till 7. On my 4 miles I had another great phone call with a friend. The sunset was beautiful as I walked.

My “campsite” was a public dock by a lake. At about 10pm I, terrified, saw a spotlight approaching me through the woods. Then “Peter” came out and sat down next to me. Peter is 82, lives in Hawaii and is the 4th generation in his family to take up the forest service lease for their cabin on this lake.  He talked to me late into the night about his life, family, and the history of the lake.   There are lots of strange friends on the trail…

Day 61 [1096-1126]

It started pouring rain at 3:00 am.  I grabbed all my stuff and hid under the ferry’s phone booth…the consequences of cowboy camping.   Peter did not offer to let me sleep on his covered porch, though I saw him come outside when the rain started.  However,  he did come check on me in the morning before I left and his wife even gave me some banana bread.  

I heard a dear running and crying trying to escape something chasing it, that was cool but I could not discover more.  

This ended up being a very long day and my spirits, and body, were very low by the end of it.  Sometimes I get so angry/sad/tired that I hate all of my music, podcasts, and audiobooks…but even moreso hate my thoughts.  This was one of those afternoons.  

-I found myself furious at myself for doing the trail, blaming anyone and everything for my misery.  I was blindly torturing myself for some goal that I could not remember why I cared about or commuted to in the first place.  “The person who promised to do this isn’t me anymore, I’m me so I should decide what I do” I thought.  (I am amazed how quickly my mind devolves into being such a horrible enemy)

The demon in your head convinces you that your past decisions, commitments, or promises are made invalid by new knowledge or feelings—this is a LIE.  The only way to persevere in such cases is not through intellect or emotion but blind allegiance to your word.  Personal integrity may feel like foolishness in the moment, in many cases it may actually be so—but it is integrity nonetheless—such is the nature of a strong charecter.  

—-In the Bible, David’s kingly dynasty (the line even of of our LORD Christ) is only established as true because he does not kill king Saul.  His lineage is redeemed despite its many sins because of the mercy in its beginning.  ———So too in The Lord of The Rings is Bilbo’s lineage able to be redeemed despite its failing because of his mercy to Sméagol in the cave in the beginning.  

(Also see, telephone booth, twisted deer, twisted tree, and moss rings)

Day 62 [1126-1154.5]

Today I woke up and the dark clouds (literal and spiritual) of the night before had passed.  I always move well on the days towards food and today was no different.  Today I left the Tahoe Rim Trail section and all the hikers on it and hiked more often alone and in silence.  I hiked through Palisades and several other ski resorts which was cool to see.  I wondered what they would look like in snow and it was clear from all the signs 20 feet in the air that their base layer is really deep.  This also meant that I had cell service so I had a long phone call with a buddy which is a new treat which I am loving.  

Finally I made it to Donner Ski ranch and got a boatload of food and a bed and the package I sent to myself from Mammoth.  New shoes!!!!!

I enjoyed some time with Jared the very sharp engineer/consultant, armpit the somaliet, and Evan the old guy with the biggest backpack i have ever seen.  

Today I thought a lot about samwise Gamgee, but you will have to read this afternoons essay to learn what…

Day 63 [1154.5-

I had a good breakfast and talked to the bartender while I ate, then I iced my knee and wrote to you guys.  I hope to do about 15 miles when I leave this afternoon although it looks like rain.  

My cardio is doing very well, my weight is stabilizing (25 lbs down), and I think/hope my knee is improving.  Spiritually I am maturing and my prayer life is growing daily.  I am lonely, but rarely cripplingly so.  The trail is getting easier but it will be getting hotter.  Everyone says the next month/600 miles are the worst of the trail.  I guess we will find out!

The poems of the week have been Death Be Not Proud, and Love iii.  Let me know if you have any more good poems to memorize.  

Love,

Treebeard

Anyways, the past few days since Kackie left have been new, interesting and I think worth sharing. 

Day 54. [944-964]

{I know this is a repeat day but there is more to say}

In addition to (“big”) Troy, I also hiked with “Cliffhanger” the Australian actor, entrepreneur, and filmmaker from Hollywood. He is writing a tv show about the trail (as I’m sure many think they are) and is quite confident in it. He gave a big speech about how people shouldn’t talk politics on the trail—-as he made his way into a long rant about his hate for Trump. —->I, as usual, agreed with more informed and equally passionate disapproval of him but from the position of one betrayed and not opposed. 

…anyways, he got too crazy so I ditched him and hiked past him. But there are a lot of people “in the film industry” on the trail and I thought I would share. 

Also, today, for the first time in the trail, it began to rain. This… was a new challenge. 

Day 55 [964-987]

Today, after my morning routines I skipped my normal podcast plan and began an old favorite of mine—The Fellowship of The Ring.  Unsuprisingly, I was still listening to it 11 hours later.  I have so many pages of voice memos and hope to find time to actually essay them.  

Today rained for the entire day, and with each (false) glimpse of sunlight behind dark clouds came new thunder and harder rain than before.  I was thoroughly soaked early and quickly it ceased to bother me.  

I didn’t reach camp until a very dark (from the clouds) 8:00.  I set up my tent and tried my best to do it fast enough to keep the inside dry.  For some reason, as I stood there at the end of a truly exhausting day, filthy and soaking I had a rush of adventurous joy.  I found myself yelling back at the thunder and laughing at it joyfully.  Then, seeing my tent site was near a small lake, I realized in a moment the only natural way to go about dinner…..

As I cooked my ramen beside the lake, I washed my socks and remembered that every night for the past month I had burnt my mouth by eating it too early.  So as it cooled I took off all my clothes and went for a swim, taking a small lap out into the lake and back to kick off all the mud and sweat.  Then coming back I knew my Ramen was ready I just ate it all right there and then—butt ass naked, alone in the mountains.

I was so content

In fact…

I think I’m growing to like this Treebeard fella…

But I still laugh imagining some Californian who for some reason was 40 miles into the wilderness in a thunderstorm who stumbled upon me having my supper.  [(I knew nobody could come from behind because I hadn’t passed anyone in 5 miles)]

Day 56 [987-1018]

Today I hit 1,000 miles! 

That’s so insane, but I promise to you I am actally far from it.

Today, as you can see, I was moving again.  It feels good to be going far and fast again.  (Except for my knee which is hurting very badly).

But my mind and pride feel as good as ever!

Today was also a goodbye to the “true Sierra Nevada” and an entry into “Northern California”

*See below*

I reached Kennedy Meadows North where I was able to ship my bear can home (lighter pack!!).  There I also got a 2 hot meals, new food for the trail, wifi (for you ❤️), and soft serve ice cream!

At the PCT campsite I met a bunch of people but one hiker Evan, lured me in with a free offering of leftover food and whiskey…..

Anyways, 5 hours later and we were still talking.  He is an ex infantry, great books Master degree from St. John, enlightenment humanist, leftist, defense attorney, who is hiking the PCT with his wife.  

Talking to someone ideologically opposed to me who has been traditionally educated was fascinating and nuanced and really fun.  Topics covered included Monarchism, Radical Islam, Normal Islam, Active Combat, the Judicial system, the constitution, the founding fathers, and the Christian literary tradition.  

Being in good spirits we essentially played the game of seeing how much we could agree on from our different ends.  He, having served on the streets of Afghanistan was forced to have the really unpopular liberal position of Sam Harris on Islam (which I recognized) and that was a starting point for our agreement.  

Making strange friends over immediately deep talk truly is, I think, the greatest thing a person can do to meet themselves and the world.  

Most importantly he too agrees with G.K Chesterton who said there is nothing for men to discuss BUT Religion and Politics, which is a sharp turn from the foolish rule of the trail and polite society to never discuss anything of substance or import.  

Then at 1:30 we ended our long discussion and went to bed. The heavens, from this view I judge, chose my side in the discussion…

One of the thoughts which is haunting me is the religious nature of “collectivism”.  To much outrage, Zohran Mamdami said earlier this year that we must replace the frigidity of rugged individualism with the warmth of collectivism"

However, I too oppose individualism, which I suppose is very un-American of me.  More fervently, I require the warmth of collectivism.  

I have an essay cooking on the subject so stay tuned.  

Everyone go touch a tree and thank God for it, trees are good.  

Much Love,

treebeard

I have officially completed more than ⅓ of the trail, Kackie has officially finished her portion of the trail, and now my Mom and Dad have come to Mammoth to visit and watch me eat a lot of food.  

Kackie’s section ended up being around 240 miles, almost 50,000 ft of elevation gain and at least 7 passes over 10,000ft.  Yeah….pretty badass for Kackie (Goggles)

Day 47 [881-883] We ended up going about 5 miles back towards the trail, keeping things light to save Kackie’s knee and help her ease back into it.  Beautiful cowboy spot by the lake. It looks like her knee was getting steadily better.

Day 48 [880-892.4] We slowly took the day to do Silver pass and were moving pretty well.  I saw a beautiful rainbow cloud thing.  Then we eventually made it to the beautiful Lake Virginia. This is my second time camping at this lake and it is undeniable. After taking a swim and jumping off some rocks we decided to move to the other side of the lake to wake up in the sun… we both fell in walking over and in our night clothes. (Aghhhhh)

As I was watching this rainbow which I knew could not last, I could not decide to write about the things (I thought) it inspired in me, to take a long video of its change, or to simply watch it. As I have no poem for you and only a poor picture, you can guess that I tried and failed at each…

Day 49 [892-909] Woke up very wet next to Lake Virginia and we take our time gliding down the 16 miles to Red’s Meadow where hot food, new snacks, and showers awaited us.  

As I walked ahead of my sister remarking at how fast and good of a hiker I was, I saw a tree and turned my head to look at it.  —-—Some gnome or demon (tree root) tripped me and I totally ate it.  I had a face full of dirt, a skinned elbow, a bloody palm and a bleeding knee.  I felt like a 5 year old and it sucked.  Kackie (who I had thought myself so superior to) was only about 15 seconds behind me and saw me getting up.  Then I was the slow and injured one…

At Red’s I had 3 great phone calls, 3 good beers, and a 5 minute shower.  Life was good

Day 50 [909-931] We realized that with only 35 miles left we could be back to society and showers and hygiene (at least for Kackie) by the next night and so we made a big push to sleep on top of Donoahue pass.  This was a hard day, but in it we got to pass the fantastic thousand Isdland lake and Garnett lake.  They were absolutely stunning.  More importantly, there was a duck and some ducklings to watch in the lake as we snacked.

By the end of the day that knee was seriously hurting, as was Kackie’s and it was a slog.  A couple hours later, however, and we were rewarded with the best campsite ever.  Perfect sunset, perfect stars, perfect sunrise, and an all downhill day to civilization—pretty awesome.  With some seriously premier cuisine (beef flavored ramen) we enjoyed our last sunset—Kackie’s last on the trail, and mine with a friend. It was awesome

I mean look at the stars, the celestial spheres.

I can only wonder how much easier our world has been secularized by the smog which obscures the true night sky?

Day 51 [931-943]

Kackie and I woke up and watched the sunrise from our sleeping bags atop Donahue pass and it was beautiful.